


counting sheep

by gann0n



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra has issues, Comfort, Cuddling, F/F, I started watching s5 but I haven’t finished it so I apologize if anything is inaccurate, Mostly Fluff, Sharing a Bed, adora is supportive, because I am soft, i am aware the title is like, i really just wanted to write them cuddling, not great and i am sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gann0n/pseuds/gann0n
Summary: Unable to sleep, Catra has a moment of reflection, and then gets a reminder that she’s not in this alone.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 116





	counting sheep

Catra always figured she would never be able to fall asleep in Bright Moon. She just didn’t think it would be because of the beds. 

It wasn’t like Adora hadn’t warned her about it, Catra thought, attempting in vain to get comfortable on the mattress. She didn’t remember when this particular tidbit of knowledge was shared with her, in between all the crazy, potentially universe ending shit that went down, but for some reason the information stayed in her brain. She thought it might have come up during one of the Best Friend Squad’s encounters with the enemy, because it was hard not to notice the banter that flowed freely between the three, something that didn’t happen in any squad Catra commanded. It was equal parts sad and ridiculous, but it had made her heart ache to see just how well Adora fit in with other people. Catra was aware of the dynamic between them—she would have had to make an active effort not to be—but it was one thing to witness it while trying to beat them. It was another to see it while on the same side. And to be involved with it. She knew things would be different on the Rebellion’s side, but not “Adora’s friends being playful and teasing her” different. It was all very strange, and that was echoed even in the beds in Bright Moon.

It wasn’t all bad. Catra no longer slept at the foot of the bed (at Adora’s insistence) and she found herself wrapped in an embrace she dreamed about for years. But just like before, she didn’t spend time thinking about any possible negatives that might result from this. All she’d wanted was to be locked in Adora’s arms exactly like this, and she took a moment to admire the perks that came with cuddling with her girlfriend. For one, she got to see Adora relaxed for the first time in forever. All the responsibilities of the world couldn’t reach her in sleep, and Catra watched Adora’s face and listened to her breathe in and out, stifling a giggle at her light snoring. For another, Adora’s arms were wrapped around her which was a bonus in almost every situation. There was nothing deceptive about Adora’s arms—the strength was written in all the lean muscle, which Catra found herself staring at more than once. Including right now. Catra looked at Adora’s arms as they reached out, in hopes of snuggling closer to her all while Adora was still fast asleep, and chose to use this opportunity to wriggle away without waking her. Adora mumbled something, but before Catra could ask if she was awake she heard snoring again, and smiled to herself as she went to sit on the edge of the bed.

Sparkles and Bow mentioned that the first couple of nights, Adora had issues sleeping alone. Catra didn’t get much sleep those nights either, but for an entirely different reason. She wondered if she and Adora had been awake at the same time during that, thinking about each other. The obvious answer was yes, because universe saving kisses didn’t happen when your love was one-sided (presumably), but Catra’s thoughts of Adora back then were accompanied by red-hot stabs of jealousy about her new friends. Even now Catra sometimes needed to take a step back, and remind herself it wasn’t fair to think about Adora like that anymore, not when Adora and so many others welcomed Catra into their ranks with open arms despite all the terrible things she did. Not when Adora was giving her a chance she probably didn’t deserve. 

She knew what Adora would say if Catra said any of this out loud, that Catra deserved more than she gave herself credit for, but still. Yes, she’d started forging a path to redemption, but it was only when she opened up and admitted she was in the wrong that she saw just how much damage she’d done. The things she said to Scorpia, to Entrapta, the orders she gave and the scars she left—it all made her clench her teeth and bite back hot tears of shame, not unlike how Shadow Weaver made her feel. Or Hordak. Or Prime. Breathe, Catra. She told herself. No one said this was going to be easy. Or that everyone was going to forgive you. Guards and princesses alike still eyed her cautiously as she passed, and she knew it would be a long time before she heard any forgiveness from their lips. And she preferred it that way. You didn’t unlearn life-long behaviors in a month, and a part of Catra was clinging to the idea that she needed to prove over and over again that she wasn’t going to be a burden or a mistake for Adora to cover for.

She sighed, and then felt the bed shift as Adora came up behind her and hugged her from behind, arms coming to wrap around Catra.

“You should be sleeping.” Catra said, but she felt the low thrum of a purr start up in her chest when Adora moved to sit next to her and put her head on Catra’s shoulder.

“Mmm.” Adora said, in what might have been agreement. “So should you.”

“Yeah, well.” Catra said. “I wish it worked like that. I woke you up, didn’t I?”

“No.” Adora said immediately, and Catra didn’t have to look at her to know she was lying, but she did anyway, raising an eyebrow at a suspicious looking Adora, who sighed. “Fine. You did. But it’s okay. I don’t think I was going to get much sleep anyway.”

Catra resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Here was Adora making excuses for her. Again. In the privacy of their bedroom where there was no one to impress. She thought about asking Adora why she wasn’t able to sleep, but figured the two were awake for similar reasons.l

“It feels like if there was ever a time for you to have a good nights’ sleep, it would be now.” was Catra’s response. “Since, you know. You saved the whole universe. Even after I tried to stop you so many times.”

“Catra—“ Adora tried, but Catra was having none of it.

“The things I told myself to justify what I did.” Catra shook her head. “At first I just wanted you to come back.” she said, which was the truth. There was a secondary objective, of course, but the main thing on her mind was to get Adora home. If Shadow Weaver would have been pleased, well, that was just an afterthought. But then Adora proved more stubborn than anyone could have accounted for, and then it became all about proving Catra could do it. Could be something with or without Adora. Could be enough for somebody. But it never was, and it didn’t matter how much pressure she managed to put on the Rebellion—they refused to quit, and Catra got nothing. No acknowledgement. None of that for a second in command. She upped the stakes and upped them some more—she opened a fucking portal and it didn’t make a difference to the Rebellion and their almighty She-Ra.

She felt a pang of guilt as she remembered that last part wasn’t exactly true. The Rebellion had suffered a massive loss that came directly from her hands. 

And yet, there was nowhere Catra could hide from defeat. It found her at every corner she turned, and she couldn’t escape it in her sleep, either.“I wanted you to come home. But I guess it stopped being home for you sooner than anyone wanted to admit. And I can’t stop thinking about how things could have been different.”

“I don’t think anyone is denying you did some not so great things.” Adora said, sitting up so that they were face to face. “And they’re not all going to forgive you. But you did come to the right side. And then you saved the universe.”

Catra scoffed. “You saved the universe.”

“I remember you playing a vital role right there with me.”

“Maybe.” Catra said, looking away.

Adora hugged her tighter. “That’s the closest I’m going to get to you admitting that, isn’t it? I’ll take it. We have time to work on it.”

She heard her own purr get louder as she realized they did have time—more time than Catra could have ever dared to imagine, without Shadow Weaver or Prime or anybody else in the way for once. She felt Adora’s lips quirk up into a smile as Adora leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, once, then pulled her in to plant multiple kisses all over her face. Catra made a noise that was more of a squeak than she wanted to admit and attempted to wiggle away, but she was laughing too hard to devote all the energy needed to break away from Adora and stayed in her arms. Adora laughed too, and it amazed Catra how that sound could make her feel so much better. 

“Besides,” Adora said, “No one’s saying you’re going to be forgiven instantly. And I wish a lot of things would have gone differently too. But it all led to me being right here with you right now, and I— I couldn’t have asked for a better ending to all this.”

Catra hopes her blush was hidden in the dark. “Really?” She managed to tease. “You can’t think of anything to make this better?”

“Hmm.” Adora pretended to think, a hand at her chin. “It would be pretty cool if I had two magic horses instead of one. And if my girlfriend could sleep through the night without feeling guilty.” she said, and then giggled.

“What?”

“Nothing, just…” she trailed off as her face broke into a bigger smile. “Girlfriend. You’re my girlfriend.” 

Catra smiled before she could help herself. “You’re such a dummy. Was that not clear when you kissed me three hundred times?”

“Nope.” Adora said. “I think I have to do it again just to be sure.”

This time, instead of planting kisses anywhere on Catra’s face she could reach, Adora kissed her forehead. And then, just as Catra felt her face flush at the gesture, Adora kissed her nose. Catra’s tail twitched and she didn’t know if it was from frustration or anticipation as Adora looked at her lips, and back up to meet her eyes without kissing her a third time, a smirk playing at her lips. This time Catra did roll her eyes and closed the distance between them herself, too wrapped up in the fact that she got to kiss Adora like this now to be annoyed.

“Do you feel better now?” Adora asked, once they broke apart. 

“I didn’t realize how much I missed being able to talk to you.” Catra said. “Between, you know. Everything that happened. For all the times I didn’t listen to you before, I could have used you back in the Fright Zone.”

“You have me now.” Adora said. “And nothing is going to change that.”

“Not even when I wake you in the middle of the night to sit at the edge of the bed and obsess over stuff from the past, huh?” 

“Especially not then.” Adora said. “I spent way too much time hoping for moments like this. There’s no way I won’t be there for you when you need me.“ She said, lacing her fingers with Catra’s. “We’re going to handle whatever gets thrown at us. Together.”

“You’re so cheesy.” Catra said, blinking back tears and hoping her voice didn’t act as a clue for the swell of emotion in her chest. “Did you already have that written down, or has being able to turn into an 8 foot warrior princess improved your speech skills?”

Adora’s eyes twinkled. “A little bit of both, I think. But the only true test of my ability is if I can convince you to go back to bed.”

Catra thought about it, and shook her head. “I don’t think even you can do that right now. But I would, uh, like to cuddle with my girlfriend before I have to share her with the rest of the world.”

“I can do that.” Adora said. “I can do that whenever you want, just so you know. It’s not a limited time offer.”

“You’re such a dork.” Catra said.

And despite how uncomfortably soft the bed was (seriously, how did Adora ever get used to this), Catra drifted off to sleep feeling more reassured than she ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my first fic in what feels like forever, I wanted to wait until I finished the show to write this but we all see that didn’t work out and I’m highkey nervous to post this after not writing in so long 
> 
> talk to me on tumblr: saturdaybandit


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